btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
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Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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