Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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