you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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