Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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