Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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