Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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