I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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