I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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