wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
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Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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