I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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