bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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