i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just gargled with NyQuil
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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