I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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