Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize