i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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