i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize