I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize