are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize