Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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