Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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