Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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