Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize