used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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