I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize