Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize