Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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