Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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