I can tuck mytits in my pants
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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