I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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