her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize