Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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