pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize