you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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