i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize