Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize