Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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