I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize