White coat. Heels.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
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I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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