Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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