That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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