so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize