grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize