can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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