I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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