Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize