I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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