fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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