it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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