they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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