I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
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its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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