I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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