Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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